Dossier
The Major's service record. Declassified.
Meet the Major
Major Wood spent his career in service before retiring to a smoke-filled corner of the Texas Hill Country. He didn't write a book — he wrote a standing order: low and slow, every time.
His pit is his command post. His sash is earned in brisket points, not battle ribbons. He never saw combat — and he'll be the first to tell you that. His war is against bad technique, dry meat, and impatience.
The Mission
Major Wood BBQ exists to make you a better pitmaster. Not through gimmicks or shortcuts — through craft. Wood science. Temperature control. Patience. And the occasional well-placed insult about your bark.
We sell courses, field manuals, rubs, sauces, gear guides, and merch — all in the Major's voice. Guides distinguish researched advice from documented hands-on testing. If it doesn't make your barbecue better, it doesn't make the cut.
Major Wood is a fictional character. He's an illustrated cartoon mascot, not a real veteran — and he'd be the first to say so.
"I earned my rank at the pit, not the Pentagon. Now trim that fat cap."